


Lipstick Kisses

by huff_le_puff



Series: Brown Galaxies [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hufflepuff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Platonic Cuddling, References to Depression, Slut Shaming, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-27 12:05:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17766479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huff_le_puff/pseuds/huff_le_puff
Summary: Addelaine and Sirius are found out, James is a bit of a prat, and chaos ensues. After all, when did the Marauders have a normal year?





	1. Chapter 1

The summer holidays were finally here. All the Marauders were sixteen, and excited to spend the summer together. Everything seemed perfect! Except one tiny detail: Addelaine couldn't get out of bed, or eat much. If she ate, she had to run to the nearest bathroom before she got sick all over the table. Euphemia was very confused.

  
  "Mum," James had sighed on morning, after Addelaine had excused herself to the bathroom again. "Dee's been having a hard time. Sometimes she gets really sad, she thinks about the past. At first it was her cousin--he's a real jerk -- then it was her Dad, and then Millie--"

  "I was having problems with kids at school pushing me off staircases." Millie put in.

Euphemia nodded. "But it still doesn't tell me why she has trouble keeping down food."

  "I think she thinks about it unintentionally and that's what makes her feel sick. The thought of it." James told his mum. "It happens at school too, but she manages alright."

  "Is she okay?" Danny asked quietly.

Millie nodded. "Go get ready for bed, I'll come with." That was a distraction. James reminded himself to thank her later.

  "I'm scared for her, Mum. I fear if one more thing..."

  "We won't let anything happen, Jamie." Euphemia promised, patting his cheek.

  
They desperately tried to help, but nothing seemed to work. Danny cuddled with her, that made her smile. Euphemia often made her favorite foods. It didn't help her eat, but she appreciated it. Millie liked to read to her. Whether it be from a textbook or fairytales, it was nice. James did whatever he could. 

  "Bollocks, I'm bad at this stuff." James said one day.

She shook her head at him. "Nah, you're okay, Ja."

  "But, nothing's working! I've tried making jokes, and cuddling, and I brushed through your hair like girls like."

  "James, I don't know why I'm sad, but I do know one thing. Just you showing you wanna help makes me happier. I'm still really sad, but I like you being here."

  "So, I'm doing okay?"

She nodded. "More than. I love you."

  "I love you too."

They both knew it was meant platonically, and they also knew that didn't make it any less valuable of a love.

  
James continued to sit with Addelaine, trying his hardest to make her laugh.

Currently it was a Tuesday, a few hours after lunch, and Addelaine's head was in his lap. James was threading his fingers through her curly hair, making it frizz. She didn't care. She had more important things on her mind.

**_Sirius doesn't even like you._ **

  
_He does, he's said so._

  
**_He's just using you as an easy snog._ **

  
_He wo_ _uldn't do that._

  
**_Wouldn't he? He knows you're_ **   
**_a slut. Heather's right. They_ **   
**_all are._ **

  
_No, I'm not._

  
**_Aren't you? Derek, Michael, Eli?_ **   
**_And now you're snogging in_ **   
**_secret. Whole school thinks_ **   
**_you and the guys have some sort_ **   
**_of weird relationship._ **   


_It doesn't matter what they think._

**_You say that but--_ **

  
  "Dee? Alright there?" 

_James._

  
She looked at him, focusing on the feeling of his fingernails in her hair, letting it calm her. "I love you."

He kissed her hand. "I love you too."

* * *

  
The Blacks were eating some fancy dinner Kreacher had made. Sirius didn't dare interrupt Regulus, he already had a bruised arm.

  "--and there's this girl, Ramirez, the oldest. Apparently she's a harlot!"

  "Shut the hell up." Sirius growled. "She's not a harlot."

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Of course you would say that, Sirius. You're much too fond of her."

Walburga's anger seemed to seep throughout the entire house. "You're hanging around with a, a, harlot? This is not proper Black behavior!"

Sirius was dragged from the table, and braced himself for the Unforgivable he knew was coming. He was just lucky his father wasn't here.

  
Danny was talking excitedly of Hogwarts. "--and I'm gonna make lots of friends, right?"

  "Right." Millie told him. 

  "I'm most excited for--" He trailed off as he heard a pounding.

Addelaine got up. "I'll get it, be right back."

Upon opening the door, she nearly screamed. There was Siri, her Siri, blood across his face, barely standing, and with a grin. "Nice to see you, Lainey." He fell forward, leaving Addelaine to catch him.

She stood there for nearly a minute, before Euphemia asked who it was.

  "James, come here!"

  "Aw, Dee! I'm eating!"

  "Yes, well your best friend looks sodding dead, so I think food can wait!" She huffed, pulling him so he was leaning against her. He was much taller still, and she hadn't been eating much, so she was weak.

James hurried in and cursed. Together, they dragged him to a near sofa and James ran for his mum.

 

Addelaine was dancing in her room when Millie came in. "Sirius is up, Addie."

She could kiss him, but her siblings and both Potters were there. She settled for a hug. "You prat, you scared me half to death!"

He cocked his head like a puppy. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, darling. Would a kiss make it better?"

Addelaine blushed horribly, and settled for scowling. "No, it would not."

  "Well, I think a kiss could help me." He pouted.

She sighed, and kissed his forehead. "You're such a flirt. Are you feeling okay?"

He nodded at her. "Better now you're here."

  "Such a flirt." She shook her head. "But really, okay?"

  "It looks worse than it feels, I promise, my dear Queen."

Addelaine blushed, as she did anytime someone called her 'Queen'.

* * *

  
After a few days with Sirius, Addelaine had many more 'good' days. These days she ate lots, was talkative, went out, and laughed lots.  
  Soon, however, she was bound to have a 'bad' day.

Euphemia went to wake her for breakfast, and instantly knew the day it would be. Rosie was on the floor, rather than sleeping on Addelaine's chest, as was usual. Addelaine was under a heap of blankets, and didn't move when the door opened.

  "Addelaine, Love, it's time for breakfast." She tried hopefully.

Addelaine sighed from under the blankets.

  "Love, I can bring it up if you can't be around us right now.

Sometimes it was like that, Addelaine just couldn't face them.

The blankets shook, so Euphemia presumed she'd shaken her head 'no'.

  "Love, please. At least some tea or juice?"

  "Water?"

  "Okay, we can do that. I'll have James bring it up. Toast, please?"

  "What's the point? We're all gonna die anyway."

Ah, one of the worst days.

  "Okay Love, I'll have James bring up some water and berries, just in case you get hungry."

  
Several hours after breakfast was well over, Addelaine felt the bed dip.

  "Hey Addie, it's Danny. I'm just gonna sit here, okay?"

Addelaine opened the covers to him, and he crawled inside with her.

He did this, sometimes. He would babble about anything and everything. He might only be eleven, but he knew it helped distract his sister from the mean voices in her head. The ones that told her she wasn't good enough.

  "I think I'll be a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. I'd like to be with you, honestly. Besides, I'm not very cunning, or brave. Oh! I played with Bill Weasley the other day. He's only six, but he's pretty cool. Last time I saw him he was a baby, so it was weird to see him walking. And with hair. Mrs. Weasley's very pregnant, too. She says it's another boy, Percy. I feel bad for them. Having a sister's great, they're missing out."

Addelaine smiled, and hugged him close. "Love you, Danny."

  "Love you, Addie."

She fell asleep, and when she woke, Sirius was sitting at the end of her bed, doing his Transfiguration homework.

  "Siri?" she asked groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

He watched as she yawned and stretched, blinking to wake herself up. He realized something very scary for a sixteen year old boy -- he wanted to wake up next to her and see this for the rest of his life.

  "Hey, Lainey. All right?"

She nodded. "What're you doing up here?"

  "Just thought you might like the company. I missed you, too." He paused, before plowing on. "If you wanted to talk about whatever is going on, would you?"

She nodded hesitantly.

  "With me though?" He asked.

She nodded, a bit more confidently now. "Yes."

He nodded happily to himself and continued with his homework.

  "Um, Siri?" She asked, thinking how much she'd regret this.

  "Yeah?"

  "Can I? Talk about what's going on?"

He nodded, giving her his attention.

  "I'm scared you'll see me differently."

He took her hand in his. "I won't Lainey. I solemnly swear."

She had a faint grin at the familiar phrase. "Okay, so it's like these little...voices? Like people in my head shouting at me. Telling me things I already thought, but shoved away."

  "Like demons?"

She nodded. "The demons. They tell me stuff I'm scared to think. Like that you don't actually like me, or I'm really a slut, or--"

  "Hey, shh. It's not true, okay? I'm not just snogging you, and Heather is a bitch. The boys and I? We love you so much."

She nodded. "Logically, I know that. But my head...it just screws with me."

  "What do you say to the demons?" He asked, moving closer.

  "At first I disagree. I tell them they're wrong. But," she sighed. "it gets exhausting, y'know?"

He nodded. "It makes sense. You're constantly at war with yourself, have been for years."

She started to disagree, but he shook his head.

  "Lainey, you've been my best friend for five years. You're the closest I've ever been to a girl  -- literally and not."

She giggled.

  "I can tell you, even at twelve, you had these 'demons' if you will. And I fucking hate Derek for that."

She sighed. "I don't wanna talk about him."

  "Then we won't." Sirius said. He waited three seconds, then muttered, "oh fuck it." and kissed her, gently.

  "Siri?'

  "I'm sorry, I've been dying to do that since I got here."

She smiled. "Well, thank you. I...didn't mind."

  "Hey, so um, when can we tell -- even just the boys -- about us? I mean--"

  "I think we should stop being so careful. Leave lipstick stains on your collar, a few accidental hickeys, your cologne on my jumper..."

Sirius grinned. "You're going to drive James spare."

  "I know it." Addelaine smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

They were at the station, and Euphemia felt slightly sad. She was also very happy, but she'd grown to love the Ramirez children as her own, and now they were growing up!  
 They were all receiving hugs and such, and she held Danny to her chest in a hug, kissing his curly brown hair. "Good luck, Danny, my brave little boy. Make sure you all write me!"

Sirius flushed as she pulled him into a hug as well, and Addelaine grinned. "Careful, Euphemia, you might ruin Siri's rebel reputation."

  "Shut up, Ramirez." Sirius said, though he was grinning.

  "Mum?" James asked, suddenly remembering he'd forgotten something very important.

  "Yes, Love?"

  "I left some joke stuff at home, d'you think you can send it?"

  "No, James. You need to study this  year. No pranks!" She paused two seconds before a smile came over her face -- the same smile James got as a prank was being played. "Yes, of course. I assume it'll be on your desk?"

James nodded, and was quickly dragged toward the train by Sirius.

Addelaine took her brother's hand. "C'mon, Dan!"

Millie was already with her friends, Penelope and Morty.

  
Once the four made it to the Marauder's usual compartment, Danny waved goodbye. "You think I'll make friends?"

  "Of course, little Tiger," James assured him. "I became best friends with Dee and Sirius here."

Addelaine looked at him. "We didn't become friends here, it took awhile."

James made a face at her like a hurt puppy.

Danny gave her a quick hug. "You promise?"

Addelaine nodded. "If anyone gives you trouble, you know where we are."

James, Addelaine, and Sirius entered the compartment, finding Remus and Peter already inside.

  "You're all together?" Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Got tired of my family's shit."

Addelaine shared a look with James, but then hugged Peter. "Hey Petie, good summer?"

He nodded and blushed.

  "Did you blush?" She demanded.

He sighed. "I met a girl--"

James practically squealed. "Does she love you?"

Sirius choked on the chocolate frog he'd stolen from Remus.

  "N-no, but she did kiss me."

Remus grinned at Addelaine, and they both linked hands, jumping up and down.

Peter told them they could "shut up!" and they did not.

* * *

Soon enough, Addelaine sat up from her place in Sirius and James' laps.

Sirius caught her wrist. "Where you going?"

  "Check on Lily, make sure she's alright. I'll be back."

  "Tell her she can--"

  "I know, Ja."

  
She knocked on  the compartment she'd heard Lily's voice from. "Can I come in?"

  "Obviously, you right idiot." Kendra's voice said.

  "Gee, thanks Dra." Addelaine rolled her eyes, sitting next to Marlene, who had shorter hair. "Your hair looks amazing, Marls!"

Marlene struck a pose.

  "So did you girls get good O.W.L. scores?"

Lily groaned, as Alice started gushing. "Lily got O's in three subjects, T's in Divination--"

  "It's a stupid subject!"

  "--and History of Magic, and several E's in Arithmacy, Charms, Transfiguration--"

  "Okay, Allie!" Lily was blushing.

Kendra sighed. "Mum's disappointed in me. I did much better than 'Kev-Kev' though, he actually had to drop out, he did so bad."

They continued discussions like this, and changed. Soon, the subject came to Addelaine's boys.

  "My boys? Belle, what are you on about?" Addelaine asked, watching Janie laugh.

  "Come on, Janie has a point," Lily said, giggling. "It's obvious you're their queen."

Addelaine flushed as she always did a the nickname.

  "I've heard Sirius call you that." Kendra pointed out cheekily.

Addelaine blushed hard.

  "Ooh!" Alice exclaimed. "Do you like him?"

Addelaine sighed, and the compartment filled with shrieks.

  "Ha! Blackmail!" Lily laughed.

  "That's funny! Get it? Because his surname is Black and--"

  "We get it, Lyssa," Lily shook her head.

  "Tell!" Marlene demanded.

  "What's there to spill? I like him, so?"

  "So? SO?" Marlene yelled, Alice covered her ears. "Tell him!"

  "Why should I? He doesn't like me like that." Addelaine hoped it wasn't true.

Kendra scoffed loudly. "Oh please, Deli. He's liked you since he saw you. Why else would he try to get to know you so much? And he's always touching you somehow. Whether it be cuddling, or just playing with your hair. He likes you."

  "Maybe loves!" Alice sighed happily.

  "You're such a hopeless romantic, Lyssa." Addelaine shook her head. "Anyway, it's whatever. I should get back I promised I'd be quick."

  "You're made for each other, you're both dorks!" Alice yelled as Addelaine opened the compartment door.

  "Thanks, Miss Wonderland." She said, confusing the purebloods. Lily laughed. "Good one!"

   
Walking into the compartment, Addelaine tossed James his shirt and shorts that she'd been wearing. "Here. You guys excited?"

Remus grimaced, but no one noticed.

  "I guess, it's just school." Peter said.

  "But it's sixth year!" Addelaine exclaimed, flopping into Sirius' lap. "Our second to last year."

  "We've got NEWTs to study for, they determine our _whole lives_." Remus sighed.

  "We know what you'll be, Moony." James grinned.

Sirius chastised him. "Now Prongs, call him by his proper name--"

  "Oh Merlin no. Bear!"

  "--Professor Moony!"

James gasped. "My mistake! Terribly sorry, Professor Moony."

Remus sighed, holding back a smile. "I'm not going to be a professor."

  "Why not?" Addelaine asked. "You're smart, patient for the most part--"

  "Because I'm a bloody monster, Bear."

  "Are not!" Four voices rang out.

  "Just because you've got a furry little problem--" Sirius began, but Remus interrupted. "You make it sound like I have a mischievous bunny."

   "Maybe you do." Peter shrugged. "He just gets a little angry sometimes."

Remus shook his head at the lot of them. He noticed how when Addelaine laughed, her whole body shook, and her brown eyes crinkled. Sirius threw an arm around her, and she leaned into it.

* * *

The five got into a carriage that only contained a girl around their age. She had long, blonde hair, and blue eyes, she was reading a book called _Nargles: Are They Real?_

  "May we sit?" Remus asked.

She didn't look up. "Of course, Remus. How is your sister, Addelaine?"

Addelaine frowned in confusion. "Fine. . .how do you know us?"

  "You're all very popular. I don't believe what that girl Heather says, you know. She's always been quite immature."

  "What's your name?" Sirius asked.

  "Pandora Steele, you're Sirius Black?"

He nodded.

  "Come now, I don't bite.

  "You're the girl everyone thinks is--" Peter shut up when Remus kicked him.

  "You needn't kick him, Remus. I know everyone thinks I'm insane."

They were quiet most the ride.

  "I hope we see each other soon, Pandora!" Addelaine said, smiling at her.

  "Really Lainey? She's weird." Sirius whispered.

She hit him. "Shush you. I like her."

As Marlene walked by them, she whistled.   
 

  
Danny ended up sorted into Hufflepuff, and sat next to Addelaine and her friends. "Can I, can I sit with you?"

  "Of course, cutie." Janie flicked his nose, and he blushed.

  "Quiet!" A Prefect shushed them, Danny looked guilty, but Kendra rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to Pimply, Danny. He thinks he's better than you, but he isn't."

The pimply prefect looked away, feeling a very large pimple on his forehead.

  "Shut up!" Janie hissed, watching a girl under the Sorting Hat that looked like her, except with longer hair and a smaller body.

  "Who's that?" Danny whispered.

  "Janie's little sister, Elise." Addelain told him.

The Hat let out a yell. "RAVENCLAW!"

Janie slumped, but still gave Elise a thumbs up. "Good job, Ise!"

* * *

  
Addelaine was in Charms, and daydreaming. There had to be a better word for it, actually, because it definitely wasn't pleasant. 

_Everyone know you're a slut._   
**I'm not a slut! Now shut up so I can focus.**   
_Slut._   
_Slut._   
_Slut._

  
  "Miss Ramirez!" Flitwick yelled in a squeaky voice. He looked annoyed. 

  "Sorry, yes Professor?" Addelaine jolted, blushing at everyone's stares.

Professor Flitwick shook his head. "Pay attention, Miss Ramirez. I asked you to tell me about the Bubble-Head charm."

  "I...I don't know, Sir. I'm sorry."

  "Detention tonight, Miss Ramirez." He looked like he felt bad, seeing as this was only the first lesson of the year.

She nodded, before slumping against Remus' shoulder. 

He whispered, "Alright?" 

She shrugged. "Yeah, just distracted."

  
That night, she arrived in his classroom. She really ought to have known something was off -- the lights were all off, and it was eerily quiet. "Professor? Are you --?"

She screamed.

A desk next to her had exploded, and she was flung against the wall.

Two more desks exploded, pieces hitting her.

The door opened. "What is going on?"

It was Professor McGonagall.

Addelaine couldn't speak, so she pointed to where the spells had come from.

  "Show yourself!" McGonagal demanded.

Within seconds, Severus and Goyle stepped out from their hiding place.

  "Go to Professor Slughorn's office, and detention for you both. Miss Ramirez, my office."

Addelaine stood, shaking.

  "I promise Professor, I didn't know--"

They were sitting in Professor McGonagall's office, and Addelaine was talking faster than Sirius ran.

  "Calm yourself, Miss Ramirez. I believe you. What were you doing in Professor Flitwick's classroom this late, anyhow?"

  "I had detention, Professor. He told me seven o'clock, so I showed up ten minutes early, just in case he was already there. I was hoping to get a head start on whatever it was."

  "Why were you in detention? It's the first day of lessons. If it weren't for the occasional conversation in class or prank, why you would be a model student."

  "I wasn't paying attention, I...well, I just couldn't pay attention. A lot's happened lately, with my parents and the war..."  
 

  "I'll alert Professor Flitwick of the incident. I'm sure he will be happy with ten inches on why you should pay attention. Is that clear?"

  "Yes, of course, Professor."

  "How is your head feeling?" 

  "All good, thank you, Professor. May I go?"

  "Yes, it's quite late. See Madam Pomfrey if your head hurts, Miss Ramirez."

  "Yes, Ma'am." Addelaine said, getting up.

  "Oh, and Miss Ramirez?" McGonagall called, as Addelaine opened the door. "Do talk to someone if this goes on?"

Addelaine nodded, hurrying to her dorm.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hallowe'en 1976, Christmas with the Evans' and Weasley's,

  "It feels so...odd in here." Lily said, in the boys' dorm after the Hallowe'en ball had ended.

Addelaine nodded. "It used to feel weird, the first time I passed out."

  "But after so many sleepovers..." Kendra teased, nudging Addelaine's ribs.

Janie agreed. "Honestly, you spent more nights here than our dorm."

  "Okay, I think we get it, thanks." Addelaine shook her head.

They soon decided to play Truth or Dare -- which had to be explained to James, Sirius, and Marlene.

They beganb with childish truths and dares, like when Remus had to quack like a duck, or Kendra was asked her favorite class. But it quickly got 'jucier' as Janie put it.

Janie told Sirius to pick truth or dare. He chose truth.

  "All right, who do you fancy?"

Sirius thought for a moment, before pulling a mirror from his pocket. "Myself."

Kendra stared at him. "Do you just keep that in your pocket?"

  "Of course, who wouldn't?"

They all collectively sighed, and Sirius chose the next victim, Addelaine.

  "Ugh, dare. I'm so going to regret this, aren't I?"

He grinned at her. "Maybe, maybe not." He pretended to think. "I've got it. Kiss me."

  "What?" she asked dumbly.

  "That's your dare. Kiss me, on the lips."

She stared at him. _Are we really doing this?_

His eyes told her _'yes, we are'_

She leaned forward, and brought her hand up to his chin. She gently kissed him, for ten seconds.

When she leaned back, she saw her girl friends were smirking at her, and her boy friends -- except Sirius, that arse -- were gaping at her.

  "Addelaine!" James shrieked. "That was not a shy kiss!!"

She rolled her eyes. "You forget I'm not inexperienced, Ja. I've been with several guys, most of whom wanted physical things. Like _snogging_."

He grimaced at the word 'snogging'.

  "Don't like the thought of me _snogging_ , James?" She mocked.

  "Next person!" All the boys yelled.

* * *

  
Christmas at the Potters' was different, but it was good fun, still. What was different this Christmas, was that Lily invited them to her house Christmas Eve.

_I know it's a it odd, but we're good friends, and it might be fun. Petunia might be rude, but it's nothing you lot haven't dealt with, right? Anyway, I hope you can come, all three of you._

_Love,_

_Lily Evans_

  
So, here they were, standing in the cold in a Muggle town, waiting for someone to open the door.

Addelaine's teeth were chattering, and Sirius hugged her from behind. "When's she gonna--"

  "I don't know, Siri." Addelaine said, for the tenth time.

  "Hello?" A woman's voice asked, opening the door in a sweater.

  "Hi Miss," Addelaine said, stepping away from Sirius. "I'm Addelaine, Lily's friend from school. She--"

  "Oh, yes! Come in, come in. It's frightfully cold out."

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief upon entering the warm house.

  "I'll make you all cocoa. Lily's just upstairs, if you'd like to see her. First room on your left, the door is purple."

  "Thanks you, Mrs. Evans." Sirius said.

Lily's room was perfectly Muggle, aside from the touches of magic here and there. She had a few Gryffindor things, and moving pictures. Aside from that, it didn't look very 'wizardy' as James put it.

Lily jumped from her bed when she saw them. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here! Happy Christmas."

They all got hugs, although James' looked awkward. That might be the knowledge that they fancied each other.

  "Your house is so lovely, Lils." Addelaine said, sitting on the carpeted floor.

  "It smells like cinnamon." James commented.

Lily smiled. "Yeah, don't know how my parents do it. It's always so cozy."

As the three were leaving, Mr. Evans told Sirius that "you and Addie are quite the couple, aren't you?"

Sirius' eyes had widened, and Addelaine had blushed.

  
  "Oh, is that you, Addelaine?" Mrs. Weasley asked, hugging her. "I haven't seen you since you were just a little thing!"

Addelaine smiled at her. "It's been so long, Mrs. Weasley. Danny tells me you've got more than just Bill now."

  "Oh, yes. Three now, I think we'll wait a year or two until the next one."

Two red heads peeked around the corner.

  "Oh Bill, Charlie," Mrs. Weasley called. "Come in, see our guests."

  "Hi, I'm Addie, and this is Sirius." Addelaine bent to their level.

  "Hi, 'm Bill. That's Chollie." The five year old pointed to the toddler sucking his thumb, clinging to his mother's leg.

Addelaine waved. "Hello, Charlie."

  "Is he your boyfriend?" Bill whispered.

Addelaine looked at Sirius, who was speaking with Mrs. Weasley. "I um...don't think so."

  "You want him to be?"

She smiled, and winked at Bill. "Kinda, yeah."

Bill nodded. "Issa secret."

She nodded. "Yeah, it is, little buddy."

Arthur emerged with a crying baby. "Oh hello. Did we adopt two more, Molly?"

She shook her head at him. " _No_ , Arthur. This is Addelaine, remember Maria Ramirez? And her friend Sirius. I invited them for tea."

  "Is your brother little Danny?"

Addelaine nodded. "He talks about you quite frequently He's fascinated with your Muggle gadgets."

  
  "Well, see us soon, dear." Mrs. Weasley said, giving Addelaine a hug. "I think Bill would be quite upset if you disappeared."

Bill was clinging to Addelaine's leg. "Of course not. I'll see you after school, Bill, okay?"

  "Ya gotta promise." He said, holding out his pinky.

* * *

  
It was after lunch, and Addelaine had just come back from the 'bathroom'. She'd really snuck to see Sirius, and snog, but she couldn't say that, could she?

  "Dee, is that a hickey?" James asked, pointing to her neck.

  "I um, no." She lied terribly, pulling her shirt up. She knew she was lying awfully, and it was on purpose. James was too oblivious.

James sat. "I just, I can't be the only one noticing it!"

  "What, Prongs?" Peter asked, not looking at him.

  "You haven't noticed? Dee's covered in a man's cologne, hickeys...Dee? Do you have a secret boyfriend or something?"

  "I..."

  "Why didn't you tell us?" James sounded heart broken, and Addelaine sighed.

  "At first we didn't know if it would work out and I didn't want to ruin anything. But then, I think I started to um, love them...I do love them, Ja."

Peter choked. "You what?"

  "I-I love them. Holy shit, I love them!" She gasped, falling onto James' bed. "Guys, what do I do?"

  "Tell us who it is." Remus said, sitting next to her.

  "I'm scared you'll all be upset with me, with us." She sighed, and James sat next to her, smoothing out the always unruly hair on her head. "We won't, I promise," he told her.

She shook her head. "You can't--you can't promise that."

  "Is it the same guy I caught you with that time?" Peter asked, looking nervous.

Addelaine nodded. "Pete, I'm scared."

As she sat up, he hugged her tightly. "Just tell them, Addie."

  "It's Sirius." She said finally.

  "WHAT?" James and Remus yelled.

Addelaine sighed, and let Peter hug her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

James shook his head. "How did this happen?"

  "When you all shut us in a room together and wouldn't let us out. After that really bad fight in fourth year. So really, it's your fault."

They were silent, and Remus heaved a breath. "It's okay, Bear. Don't, don't be sorry or scared or...or upset. You can't help who you love."

She smiled at him. "Thank you so much, Remmy. Ja? Are you mad?"

  "No, my two best friends love each other. I just, why didn't you tell me earlier? Don't you trust me?"

  "Ja, of course! I was just scared. If it hadn't worked out, it could've torn the group apart. And when it was working, it was still scary."

He sighed. "Where's Padfoot?"

  "Why?" She asked suspiciously. "Don't do anything rash."

  
James didn't speak of it again, technically he wasn't speaking to Addelaine or Sirius.

Addelaine sighed, and Sirius hugged her. They were sitting together in Addelaine's dorm, the only other occupant Clo.

  "What's wrong, Lainey?"

She shrugged. "James won't talk to us, and it upsets me, that's all."

  "Why ain't he talking to you?" Clo asked.

Addelaine looked at Sirius. "Please--"

  "Come on, she hates my guts!" He scowled.

  "Promise you won't tell another soul, Clo?"

She nodded.

  "I told James that Sirius and I've been seeing each other and he's upset and now he won't talk to either of us." Addelaine blurted it, and sighed again. "He's the only thing keeping Millie and Danny from being homeless. If I ruined that..."

  "Is that what you're worried about?" Sirius asked incredulously. "He wouldn't do that, Lainey. He's a prat sometimes, but he loves you."

  "Siri, it's been a week. I can't do this. I need to talk to him."

Clo stood. "I'll get him to talk."

  "Wait Clo--shit." Addelaine cursed.

  "If she hurts Prongs you know I'm going to kill her." Sirius muttered.

  "I know, sadly." Addelaine murmured.

  
James was soon speaking to them again. "I'm uh, sorry, Dee, Padfoot. I was just hurt that you didn't tell me."

Addelaine scratched at her wrist, something they all knew she did when she was holding back tears.

  "Bear, what's wrong?" Remus asked.

  "I just, it feels like there's always some sort of obstacle. And I was so worried, and classes are hard...I guess everything is wrong, Remmy."


	4. Chapter 4

It was April second. Yesterday the Marauders had pulled their annual prank in honor of April first, and Addelaine was confused. Usually the pranks made her happy. Technically it wasn't the pranks themselves, or the thrill of getting in trouble -- she still hated getting in trouble all these years later. It was spending time with the boys that made her happy, and even that hadn't cheered her up. Maybe she was just destined to be sad forever.

  "Oh come on, already, Deli! We're going to be late for Herb!" Kendra was trying to pull her out of bed.

  "Go without me, I can't today." Addelaine told her. "I'm too tired."

Kendra leaned forward to feel Addelaine's forehead. "You're not feverish...are you getting a cold?"

  "No, I just, can't. I don't know how to explain it, Ken. Just go without me."

  "But what's wrong?"

  "I just can't. It's too much right now. Just go to class, no sense in you getting detention for me."

Kendra nodded, and walked quickly to the greenhouses.

  
As Kendra was getting ready to leave after the lesson, hoping to check on Addelaine, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Kendra, where was Addelaine this morning?"

  "Oh, Professor Sprout, you startled me. Addelaine said she couldn't come, didn't really tell me. She just kept repeating 'I can't'. Over and over. No fever."

  "I'll look into it. Get to your next lesson, now." Professor Sprout smiled at her kindly.

 

Professor Sprout frowned at the sight of the sixteen year old in a ball. "Addelaine, are you all right?"

Addelaine turned over. "Professor, what are you doing here?"

  "I was going to ask you the same question. I noticed you weren't in my class, this morning."

Addelaine looked guilty. "I'm sorry, Professor. I just," she sighed. "it's hard to explain, but sometimes I just can't. I can't get out of bed. It's weird."

Professor Sprout gave her a sad smile. "Why don't I take you down to Madam Pomfrey? See if she can help us out."

Addelaine nodded. 

  
  "Have you heard of depression, Miss Ramirez?"

Addelaine swallowed. "Um, yeah, vaguely. It's bad though, right?"

Madam Pomfrey looked at her softly. "If you have depression, it's not a bad thing, necessarily. It doesn't change you as a person, Miss Ramirez. It just means chemicals in your brain aren't working as they should. And you've been through quite a bit of trauma in your young life, it's normal."

It turned out Addelaine was depressed. Madam {Pomfrey was a supportive prersence, and had even taught her a bit about mental health, and its treatments in the Muggle world.

* * *

  
They had taken their exams, and Addelaine was stressed. Everyone was still calling her a slut, and she was feeling reckless. So reckless, in fact, that she walked up to Sirius in the Great Hall and kissed him full on the lips. He, of course, was delighted. There were a few cheers from their friends, and boos from some girls that fancied Sirius. Addelaine didn't care that this intensified the name calling and rumors. She was too happy with Sirius.

Finally, they were at the train station again, and Euphemia was hugging them. "Oh, Addelaine, Sirius, I'm so happy for you two. Been beating the bush for years, really."

  "Mum." James sighed.

  "I heard from Professor Sprout about the depression, Love. Let me know if I can do anything." Euphemia whispered.

Addelaine hugged her tighter in gratitude.

* * *

  
  "Um, Addie?"

  "Come in, Petie!" Addelaine called from her bed, which had essay upon essay on it.

Peter sat in her desk chair. "You're a girl."

Addelaine looked up from her Charms essay. "Well spotted."

Peter was flustered. "I just meant -- you would know why girls do what they do, right?"

Addelaine shrugged. "Maybe. Not every girl's alike. What's up?"

  "Marlene kissed me." Peter whispered, as though afraid of his own words.

Addelaine jumped up. "Really?"

  "Yes, but--"

  "Remmy owes me a Galleon! Oh, sorry, Petie. What'd you want to ask?"

  "Was it a friend kiss or an 'I like you' kiss? 'Cause you kiss me sometimes, and it's confusing."

  "I shouldn't be saying this, but it was an "I like you' kiss. She likes you."

  "Really? Why me?" He blushed as he said it, but didn't take his words back.

  "Why not? You're cute, and a good cook, and a nice cuddle buddy."

  "But I'm not like the rest of you."

She simply stared at him in confusion.

  "James is funny, star athlete, smart, handsome. Sirius is funny, good looking, and sassy. Remus is smart and mysterious which is apparently hot. You're beautiful and funny, and smart too! What am I? Chubby and dumb."

  "Peter, _no_. No, no, no." She sighed. "You might not get the limelight we do, but that doesn't mean you're any less important. We love you so much. And so does Marls."

* * *

  
Throughout the summer the Marauders and the girls would get together frequently. Sometimes they played Quidditch, went to Diagon Alley, beaches, they frequented Muggle shops as well. Records were a constant in Potter Manor now, and James and Sirius had lost track of who the Radiohead shirt actually belonged to.  
 But soon it was the night before school began again. Addelaine was on the ledge that went around the entire manor. 

  "Hey there, Ramirez."

Addelaine smiled at the sky. "Hello Black. Up late, I see."

  "As if you're any better." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her stomach and settling his head on her shoulder. "Excited?"

  "For what?" She tilted her head towards him.

  "Our last year of education, of course! We'll be free soon!"

She was silent. "What are we going to do, afterward?"

  "We can get jobs, move out of Prongs' place..."

  "Where are you going to work?"

  "Probably Aurors. Somebody's gotta bring down You-Know-Who."

  "Don't let James hear you using that name." She laughed. "I don't want you to die too, Siri."

  "I won't."

  "You can't promise that." She sighed and tried not to imagine Sirius' body lifeless.

He kissed her neck. "I can try."

  "My parents left me a couple houses. After school, would you want to move in with me?"

  "Move in? With you?"

  "You don't have to obvio--"

  "Sure."

She smiled at him, and kissed his lips. "It's a plan, then."

They watched the sky for a few minutes, then Sirius whispered, "How are the demons?"

  "They're comfortable. Quiet when I'm out here." _With you_


End file.
